If you’re tired of dealing with the local thugs in the bad part of town, now you can get your groove on the safe way, by ordering your illegal narcotics online.

Order yourself some crack here.

Thanks to a legal loophole in the Maastrict Treaty establishing free trade within the European Community, we are able to sell direct, to you the Public, from Malta, where cocaine is a recognised pharmecutical. As long as it is all for your own consumption (i.e. not for resale), there is nothing Customs and Excise nor the Police can do.

In case you are a bit dense, please don’t enter your credit card info on that site.