I think everyone was tired of that old bastard Bob Barker telling everyone to have their pets spayed or neutered. Thank God he is off the air.

I hate animals and refuse to keep them in my house, so chopping my pet’s ballsack off is not something I’ve ever had to worry about. But a lot of pet owners do end up chopping their dog’s balls off. Now there is a way to maintain your dog’s dignity, instead of letting it run around like a no-balled freak.

The answer is Neuticles.

Fake ball implants for your dog, or just about any other animal that has a set of balls. Once you have your dog’s nuts cut off, you just get a set of these handy fake balls and he won’t be able to tell the difference.

They start at $73 and go up from there, plus the cost of having your vet implant them.

I thought I’d include this gratuitous shot of a women playing with bull balls just for fun.

Just for the record, they are not suitable for human use, so don’t even think about ordering a set of these to make your ballsack look bigger.