I might have to order one of these. You do have to pay shipping, but it is not that much. This site is giving away free wooden paddles you can use to spank your kids. He just asks that you don’t spank your kids out of anger with them. Just set an appointment with your kids so you will have a level head when it’s time for the beating.

Dad: “Is 6 PM OK for your ass paddling?”

Kid: “Sorry Dad, I’ve got a Pokemon tournament at 6…. can we move that up to 5 PM?”

Get your own child-beating stick at Spare-rods.com