Apparently this dude thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, so him and his buddy decided to break into her new man’s house to check things out. I can’t believe they were able to prove it was him, given his amazing disguise. He must be some sort of ninja.

Police received a call Friday night that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.

When police stopped a vehicle matching the caller’s description blocks away, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.

There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads; instead, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, streaked their faces with permanent black marker.

Check out the full article here.

SumoDawg is probably the baddest motherfucker on the planet. I don’t know whether it is that awesome beard, or his “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, but he just exudes manliness. Just look at him here, ready to shoot first and take names later.

Here he is showing off his sweet Hitler costume. (Rumour has it, it wasn’t even Halloween at the time)

And here is SumoDawg doing what he does best.

Check out the rest of his pics at:
SumoDawg.com

This looks fake as hell, but I would still suck on those disgusting little brown nips.

How could this possibly give you a hard on? I think you’d be lucky to get away with just a few broken ribs.

Rumour has it he died shortly afterwards due to massive internal bleeding. (OK I just made that part up)