Apparently Vince from Shamwow/SlapChop got himself into a little bit of trouble with a drunken hooker. Sounds like he stuck his tongue down her throat and she decided to try to bite it off, so he beat the shit out of her. Good job Vince. Check out these pics.

I bet right before he paid her he told her “You’re gonna love my nuts!”

TheSmokingGun has the full story.

Also more pics available here at TMZ.

P.S. Who the hell pays $1000 for a hooker like that? She’s worth $150 at best.

By now you’ve all seen or heard the commercials for various colon cleansing products. They claim you just need to take their pills and it will clean out all the packed up shit you have lining your colon walls. The shit (no pun intended) sells like hot cakes, but apparently some people are not too happy with the results. Check out the hilarious complaints that have been submitted to this site:

InfomercialScams.com

Just a sample:

3/24/2009 – Wil writes:
This is by far the worst piece of dog manure that I have tried! It is worthless. The fellas who invented this product should have this worthless piece of garbage rammed right up their colons just to prove it’s ineffectiveness. I followed the directions to the letter. The direction state: (Paraphrasing) Take 1 Total Colon Cleanse pill in the morning and 1 pill in the evening with food. If you have not had two daily bowel movements within the first two days, then take 2 pills in the morning and two in the evening. If you STILL have not made two bowel movements, take three pills in the morning and then three pills in the evening. The first two days, I took 1 colon pill in the morning and 1 at night. I only went to the bathroom once. (According to them, you should go at least twice a day.) After two days of taking 1 pill, I took two pills, twice a day. Still,I only made 1 trip to the toilet. The next day, per the instructions, I increased the amount to three pills in the morning and three pills in the evening. This time, my colon only gave me little pellets. Am I angry? Oh yes! I am pissed to the highest level of pissivity! If this rant will prevent just one person from buying this product then I did my job. It is garbage! I later (after the fact) asked the pharmacist at my local [] if this product really worked. The way she laughed, you would have thought that I told her a joke. However,I bet the creators of this product and there stock holders are somewhere in Switzerland or the Bahamas laughing their tailfeathers off from all of the knuckleheads (including me) who bought their product. Please DON’T BUY THIS STUFF! IT IS TOTALY USELESS!

3/10/2009 – PKL writes:
First day: 2 pills total, nothing. Second day: 4 pills, next day small b.m. Third day: 4 pills, extreme cramps and diarrhea. Reduced to 2 pills b/c of diarrhea, no b.m. for 2 days. Bottom line is it’s either cramping and diarrhea or no bowel movement at all. I went 3 days w/o one. This stuff is awful. Every doctor says that it’s rubbish about having to clean out your system b/c with each normal b.m., that’s what your body is doing. I cancelled but I’m curious to see if I get another shipment. I, too, did not hit submit button but rec’d. product anyway. What a scam!!

There’s literally hundreds of complaints on the site!

This guy is my hero. He goes around to public washrooms and takes pictures of himself urinating all over the toilet paper rolls.

Check out more of his pictures at thedeadbaby.blogspot.com.

Well, I guess this would be funny up until I had to take a runny, diarrhea shit and discovered the toilet paper was soaked with urine. This is just one of the many reasons I do my best to avoid taking dumps in public washrooms.

Ever wonder what your whore of a wife does when she goes out for a night with the girls? Well now you can see for yourself.

Boozedwomen.com has real amateur footage taken in strip bars and at “doe” parties for women soon to be married.

Now you can see what goes on in male strip clubs when a bunch of sex-starved MILFS get a few rum and cokes down their gullet and have a stranger’s wang shoved in their face. Check out this video of some married women in action:

Fucking disgusting, isn’t it? They sit at home and act all prudish but as soon as a big black cock gets in their face they can’t stop themselves from sucking it.

So check out BoozedWomen.com.

Maybe you’ll even see your slut of a wife or girlfriend on there licking whip cream off some faggot’s cock and balls.

I’m not up on all the rap “politics” (because I can’t stand rap) but apparently there is some kind of a feud between rapper 50 Cent and some other black dude named Rick Ross. The feud has gotten so bad that now 50 Cent has released a sex tape he got his hands on that involved one of this Rick Ross’s baby mommas, or something like that. To be honest, I don’t really care.

Anyway, a good portion of the sex tape has been released. And I have the link right here.

Enjoy.

I must admit 50 cent plays a good crackhead, or pimp, or whatever the hell he is supposed to be in that video.

All I can say to this is WTF? Next week’s lesson: How to eat KFC.

Are you currently suffering from bulimia-nervosa? Do you stick your fingers down your throat after every meal? If so, learn how to be a better bulimic with these helpful tips.

Check out the full list here.

Some highlights include:

• When purging, grasp your Adam’s apple in a choking fashion and lift it up. This should reduce the depth that you have to insert your fingers when purging.

• If you ever get caught, say you have a pain in your stomach and it’s bothering you intensely. Immediately after wards ask whoever caught you to lend/give you some pain killers to impress the idea that you are telling the truth.

• Purchase some mouthwash to rinse away the acid.

• It only takes about ten minutes for food to digest so don’t wait too long.

• You can wear gum shields or fake vampire fangs to protect your teeth from acid erosion.

For some reason I don’t think you’ll see these tips on any public service announcements any time soon.

Enjoy your vomiting!

I’m going to just assume this guy hasn’t had much luck with the ladies for a while, and he’s now trying to come up with some clever ways of turning things around. What better idea than to create a website advertising free oral sex to every woman of Louisville?

From his site:

 I am a man whose favorite thing to do is give oral sex to attractive young women. I love it and enjoy pleasing the women that I know and meet. I know that every woman is different, and I have been out of practice for a while. Since every woman is different in her wants and needs, I am offering FREE ORAL SEX to any woman who qualifies that e-mails me or signs up. No matter how good I may have been told that I am at my hobby, I know that everyone needs to constantly practice at anything they take pride in doing. This site is designed with the women of Louisville in mind. I need some partners to practice with and women who will give honest feedback to any services I perform for them, so that I will be able to hone my skills.

Here he is in all his glory, waiting to please as many women as he can.

Step right up ladies! I’m sure there is at least a 50 / 50 chance that he is not a serial killer or mentally unstable.

Check out his site at: LouisvilleFreeFace.com

I hope he gets a few skanks that show up with a nasty yeast infection or an active case of herpes.

Here is a site where today’s hottest celebrities are transformed through the miracle of Photoshop to look like apes. Some of them are still quite fuckable, while others will probably give you nightmares.

Check it out at CelebrityApes.com

To collect semen from a bull elephant, they have to massage the prostrate. The best way to do this, is to shove your arm directly into the rectum. Penis stimulation does not work, since the elephant often becomes agitated, which can be dangerous. Enjoy the video.