This is hilarious. In case you ever wondered if talentless acts like Britney Spears were really singing at their concerts, this should answer that for you.

Now I’m convinced even I could be a pop star. Just run my voice through ProTools and I’ll sound just like one of those boy band fags. Then I can get up on stage and lip sync and no one would know the difference.

It’s hard to find good gore and gross shit sites anymore. Ogrish.com used to be the king, but they pussied out and went mainstream with their liveleak.com format.

I’m happy to say there are still a few good gross-out sites left. Take Bloodshows.com for example.

They have a shitload of some of the worst beheading, car accident, execution and penile abuse videos I have ever seen.

Their pièce de résistance might be their one video simply titled CHOMP. I’ll just tell you this: it involves a man in a bathtub with goggles and someone that appears to have overdosed on Mexican food.

Check out the rest at:

BLOODSHOWS.COM

This one goes under the “creepy” file.

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - A Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing — even in death.

A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.

Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son’s last wish.

Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating.

I’ve become pretty desensitized to most porn. Once you see a woman eat a man’s shit and vomit, everything else seems pretty tame. So now it takes something special for me to pay attention to your plain old, hardcore porn.

Here’s something that got me to take a second look. This poor girl appears to be in the middle of one of the worst herpes outbreaks I have ever seen. I can’t believe the guy would agree to stick his dick in that. Obviously he must already have a good dose of it himself.

Her ass is pretty tore up by the end too. Looks like she’s had a few too many dicks in there.

Click the pic to check out the gallery.

The sad thing is if I was hammered and picked her up in a bar I would think I had struck gold. I’d be in there licking and pounding away faster than you could shake a stick. Only in the morning would I know the error of my ways. 

The rest of that site is pretty good too, if you like seeing hot, big-bootied bitches getting fucked hard. Check it out at:

AllInternal.com

I thought my yellow-tinged skin from my failing liver (I am a raging alcoholic) made me look like a freak, but that is before I set my eyes on this poor dude whose skin has turned blue!

Apparently he was trying to treat an ailment using an alternative therapy method that involved ingesting colloidal silver. The end result was a condition called argyria, or silver poisoning, that has turned his entire body blue.

Of course, he had to be a creep and grow the white Papa Smurf beard. That’s not helping anything, buddy.

Check out the full story here.

This has to be fake, since I doubt someone this retarded would know how to turn on a computer and register at Yahoo, although I could be wrong. No doubt there are a lot of confused people in the state of Georgia right now though, all clutching their shotguns waiting for the tanks to roll in.

Click for bigger version.

Now here’s something you don’t see every day.

A long time ago after I ended up with a dose of crabs from cavorting with a Mexican street urchin, I always thought there had to be a better way to protect yourself than just shaving your pubic region bald. I realize it makes your wang look bigger when you do that, but for some reason it just seems wrong.

Then one day I discovered the Merkin, AKA, the pubic wig.

Now I can have the protection that shaved genitals offer me, while enjoying the manly look of a full mane of pubic hair.

Even the merkins have undergone a change recently, from being just plain ballsack wigs, to having fancy designer styling in a variety of colours, for both men and women.

To pick up your own pubic hairdos, check out MerkinWorld.com

Whatever you do, please don’t use them for facial hair.

Now this is some creepy ass shit. Apparently some “natives” in Borneo captured a full-sized Orangutan, shaved it bald, then held it captive as a sex slave in a brothel.

Her name is Pony, and here is what she looked like when she was found in her den of iniquity.

OK, I admit, I’ve fucked some nasty whores before, but I don’t think anything I’ve touched would compare to this shaved orangutan. How desperate do you have to be to stick your dick in that?

Check out this tidbit from the news story:

If a man walked near her, she would turn herself around, present herself, and start gyrating and going through the motions. She was being used as a sex slave. She was probably about six or seven years old when we rescued her, but she had been held captive by a madam for a long time. The madam refused to give up the animal because everyone loved Pony and she was a big part of their income. They also thought Pony was lucky, as she would pick winning lottery numbers. 

Check out the full story here.

The Minion has been around for a while, but he just finally got his own site. It’s about time…he deserves it.

What we have here is an obese man with a tiny penis that loves eating cream corn out of the can while fucking hot bitches in the ass. I have no idea how much these women get paid, but I have a feeling it’s not enough. It’s easier just to post some pictures rather than trying to describe it to you.

Click the pics to see some movies of The Minion in action.

What more really needs to be said?

Get Down With The Sickness With

THE MINION