I can’t stop laughing when I watch this video. The sight of those kids getting tossed over a 50 foot drop then bouncing off those sheets is absolutely priceless. These people are fucked in the head.

This guy is a genius.  He’s been having problems with bums and homeless people outside his bar vandalizing the place. Initially he started patrolling the area with an assault rifle. Of course the police didn’t like that, so he decided to create his own police officer that would do his bidding. The HoboCop.

Visitors to O’Terrill’s pub in Atlanta, Georgia are likely to be greeted by a worrying sight – a 300-pound, waist-high robot marked ‘SECURITY’ rolling through the streets after dark, hunting down loiterers.

Bar owner Rufus Terrill’s invention, the Bum Bot – which has been patrolling the area around the pub since last September – features bright red lights, an even brighter spotlight, an infrared video camera and a water cannon in a spinning turret on top.

Terrill can bark orders through the robot’s loudspeaker from the safety of his bar, allowing the robot to chase homeless people away from the Irish theme pub.

The electronic vigilante has enraged neighbourhood activists, who have threatened protests. Street people say it’s intimidating. And homeless advocates question the intentions of its inventor, who uses the Bum Bot as a marketing tool and a political prop.

“I’d buy that for a dollar!”

Check out the rest of the story here.

This has to be one of the funniest youtube videos I have ever seen. It’s not that the script is totally hilarious or anything like that, but I admit I have a soft spot for mongoloids.

You see, the Retarded Policeman is a full fledged Down Syndrome case. I’ve always found mongos funny ever since Corky from that old show called Life Goes On hit the airwaves.

Check it out for yourself. This is episode 9 in the series. And here’s their youtube page so you can watch all their videos.

If I had no arms and legs I would have sucked a bullet out of the end of my 12 gauge Mossberg long ago. Well, that is, if I could figure out how to squeeze the trigger. Kind of hard with no fingers or toes. I guess I would have to rig up some sort of pulley system so that I could pull the trigger with my mouth. Again, that might be hard to do with no fingers or toes.

I thought this picture was some sort of joke, but then I found this video to go along with it. Props to the armless / legless dude for sticking with it.

I think if I was that other kid I would give up on my wrestling career. Getting beat by a guy with no arms or legs is not a good way to start out.

I happened to see a commercial on the TV the other day saying that Saturday Night Live was doing a special on “Remembering Chris Farley“. Apparently they are going to be playing old clips and shit. He was actually one of the few funny guys on that show.

Unfortunately I never watch Saturday Night Live any more because it has turned into one of the worst shows on TV. I have tried watching it a few times after my brain had been deadened by massive amounts of Budweiser, but it was still a “no go”. Unwatchable.

So, since I will be missing out on the Remembering Chris Farley special, I thought I would put up my own memorial to Chris.

Check out the Chris Farley Memorial here.

Apparently this video was originally created as a comedy spoof, but a lot of factories have got a hold of it and actually used it for forklift training and education. It starts out slow, but it gets better as you go. It would make George Romero proud.

I was at McDonald’s, and talking with some friends and there was this old guy sitting in the corner all by himself. He looked sort of depressed. I didn’t really think about it until later, though.

He finished his food before us and walked out. Like, 30 seconds later, we hear these brakes screeching and we were like “WTF, was that a car accident?” and we all stand up and looked out the window. It was that old guy. I guess he jumped in front of a car or something.

He was just lying there all messed up. I couldn’t tell if he was alive or not. It was crazy. This lady standing in line started screaming and stuff. We didn’t go out there, but we watched until the ambulance came. It was really sad when his wife showed up though. They had to sort of shovel him onto the stretcher.

As they were putting him into the ambulance I called my mom to tell her what happened. I told her that I saw the tread marks on his chest and head and she screamed “You’re movin’ in with your uncle and auntie in Bel Air.” I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said “fresh” and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, but I thought “Nah forget it, yo, homes, to bel air.”

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby “Yo homes, smell ya later.” Looking at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air.

These guys sound like a barrel of laughs! Sure to liven up any party! “Hey everybody, let’s play the drunky-blindy-stabby game! It’s always fun! Everyone get your knives out!”

A Russian electrician who spent a night with a ten-inch kitchen knife in his back only realised when he got home and his wife saw it.

A drinking pal of Yuri Laylin, 53, plunged the knife into his back after playing a variation on Russian roulette during a boozy night out in Vologda.

In the game, a blindfolded pal was given a knife and made random stabbing motions as his pals danced around him after drinking large amounts of vodka.

Yuri said he had no idea his pal had actually stabbed him and did not feel any pain when he went home.

He only realised what had happened when his wife saw him on the bed with the knife in his back and called an ambulance.

Check out the full story here.

Here is an artist’s rendition of what the Russian looked like.

VANCOUVER, Wash. – An altercation in a Vancouver park left an 11-year-old boy with a butter knife in his head.

Tyler Hemmert is a little sore but will be just fine even though the butter knife went four or five inches into his scalp.

Hemmert said he was playing at a park on Sunday when a boy with a butter knife got angry and threw it at him. A buddy ducked to avoid the flying butter knife, which then went straight at Hemmert, lodging in the right side of his head.

Instead of pulling the knife out, Hemmert ran through the park, asked a neighbor for help and took an ambulance ride to the hospital.

“I just reached up, I didn’t know it went in,” he said. “I touched it and then I looked over and I could see the handle right there. I just kind of panicked at the time.”

Check out the full story here.

Rumour has it this was a deleted scene from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I think they actually included it on the director’s cut. Or maybe not. 

Take my invincible mouth attack!

You can’t handle my oral attack!

Check out the Kung Fu Power Sex Video here.