I didn’t think these celebrity sex tapes could get much worse than Gene Simmons, but once again I have been proven wrong.

Enter the greasiest looking slob-bastard ever to grace the screen on the Geraldo Rivera show, JOEY BUTTAFUOCO.

This guy has to be the biggest creep on the planet. He’s actually a living, breathing, greaseball Italian stereotype. When you look up “dirtbag” in the dictionary it just shows his picture. What self respecting man in his fifties still goes by the name “Joey”?

If you look at his pictures closely I think he might actually be a shaven gorilla.

Now he’s trying to cash in on the moderate success of the Amy Fisher sextape by releasing his own. There’s not an original thought in this greaseball’s head.

If the idea of seeing this creep get fucked by a hot blonde is appealing to you, then have at it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

DrNatura is one of those sites that promotes colon cleansing. i.e. shoving a tube up your ass and flushing all the old crusty shit out of your butthole.

DrNatura takes it one step further though, and actually shows you the fecal matter that has come out of some of their customers’ asses. The best part is how they poke and prod at it with spoons. Jesus man, put that shit back in the toilet!

Check out the Colon Cleansing Picture Gallery here.

Why couldn’t I get lucky when I was a kid and get “molested” by one of these hot mommas?

I don’t care what anyone says, if you are a straight male you wouldn’t mind any of these fine ladies having a go at you when you were underage. As long as you were old enough to get it up and not a blood relative.

Some examples:

Heather Shelton
Age at time of offense: 22
Location: Buncombe, NC

Occupation: Teacher’s Assistant

Lover: 18-year-old student

Crime: In North Carolina it is a felony for any teacher to have sex with a student regardless of the age of the student.

Sentence: Fired from her job

Debra Lafave
Age at time of offense: 25
Location: Tampa, FL

Occupation: Middle School Teacher

Lover: 14 year-old male student

Crime: Numerous sexual encounters with a teen in her classroom, her home and her SUV. Charged with 4 felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition.

Sentence: 3 years house arrest, 7 years probation and lifetime registration as a sex offender who cannot work near children

Odd Fact: Nick Carter claims to have lost his virginity to Ms. Lafave

Pamela Rogers Turner
Age at time of offense: 27
Location: McMinniville, TN

Occupation: Elementary School Teacher, Physical Education and Basketball Coach

Lover: 13 year-old male student

Crime: Having vaginal and oral sex with a minor on more than a dozen occasions at school, her home and the teens’ home. She was later arrested for sending nude photos, sex videos and text messages to a minor and continuing communications with the boy through blogs and a website after her original arrest. She was ultimately charged with 4 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and violation of probation

Sentence: 270 days in prison, an 8-year suspended sentence, 7 years 3 months probation, register as a sex offender and surrender her teaching certificate for life.

I bet the kids these ladies “molested” were angry as fuck when their incidents got brought out into the public. They had some nice ass on tap and everyone had to go and blow it for them.

Check out the rest of these hotties here.

The Official Site of the Prophet Mohammed. Cool, I wouldn’t have expected a God to have his own blog.

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention to the news, most muslims out there go batshit-crazy whenever someone depicts Mohammed in a drawing. (I guess it violates their bullshit religion for some reason)

I bet the guy who makes this little humour site has gotten a shitload of death threats already. Especially over the PhotoAlbum section.

Check out the rest at PeaceBeUponMe.com

Birdboy found in Russia!

I’m starting to think they have a monopoly on all the genetic freaks out there. Last time it was the Wolf Boy. Now they bring us the Bird Boy.

A ‘bird boy’ was found in Volgograd several days ago. A 7-year old boy was taken away from his mother, 31. A woman took an interest in birds more than in her own son, that’s why he became a real Mowgli.

A boy lived with his mother in a 2-room apartment full of cages with feed and droppings. She had her own domestic birds and fed wild ones. A woman neither beat him nor left him without food. She just never talked to him. It was all the birds that communicated with the boy and taught him bird language.

Unfortunately the assholes that wrote this broken english article didn’t include any pictures of the Bird Boy, so here is an artist’s representation.

Check out the full article here.

I’m feeling a bit under the weather today, so I thought I’d make you all feel my pain. If this video doesn’t make you sick, then nothing will.

Check out Granny stripping, right down to her bare muff.

Two shop-owners were today fined for selling chocolate cake - which had been sprinkled with human faeces.

A horrified customer ate the foul-smelling gateaux but noticed that it didn’t taste or smell “quite right” and handed the cake to public health scientists.

The analysts soon established that the sweet treat was covered in faeces and legal proceedings against the shop owners were started.

Shop owners Saeed Hasmi, 25, and Jan Yadgari, 23, were fined £1,500 for selling food unfit for human consumption.

Look at their names…. what a surprise. Sounds like a couple of muslim scumbags to me. Hopefully they give them a decent punishment….maybe make them eat some of their own shit-covered cake. I will actually volunteer to stand over top of them and shit in their mouths. I’ve been having some absolutely amazing explosive diarrhea lately. The smell of it even chokes me up. Normally I enjoy my own brand.

Check out the full news story here.

STATE-OF-THE ART X-RAY DETECTION SOLUTIONS
TO FIGHT TERRORISM AND SMUGGLING!

Bonus: They also let you see through women’s clothing!

Introducing the new Digi Eye X-Ray glasses!

I love people like this that blatantly try to rip people off and don’t care at all how shady they look. I especially like the fake picture they photoshopped of their “mascot” being interviewed on CNN.

Get your own pair of fake X-Ray glasses for only $249 from XOLLLAB.com

The sad thing is that they probably have sold some of these already.

I thought I’d do all my readers a public service by showing you this neat tool that lets you clean the inside of your computer monitor. It’s easy to clean the outside of your monitor, but it’s pretty dam hard to get that dust off the inside of your screen. It’s amazing how that shit builds up after a few years.

Simply visit this site to start the automatic cleaning of the inside of your monitor. It is completely free.

ACTIVATE MONITOR CLEAN v1.2

This site looks to help lonely male losers hook up with women who are looking to score a free set of breast implants. The guys sign up and pay a shitload of money, and whichever women they choose to chat with will get a share of their sign up fee.

The idea is for the women to talk to as many lonely losers as they can so they can earn enough to pay for their new boobs.

Check it out at MyFreeImplants.com

For no reason at all, here is a picture of breast implants gone horribly wrong. Enjoy!