Category Archives: Weird News

Weird stuff ripped from the headlines.

Sex and Marriage With Robots by 2050

This would have been great news if I was born about 20 years later. Unfortunately I will be dead by the time this shit happens so I’ll probably never be able to stick my willy in a robot woman.

Humans could marry robots within the century. And consummate those vows.

“My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,” artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, “but once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,” Levy said.

Check out the full article here.

Werewolf Boy Found In Wilderness

‘Werewolf boy’ – who snarls and bites – on the run from police after escaping Moscow clinic

Russian police are hunting a “werewolf boy” – who snarls and bites – after he escaped from a Moscow clinic just a day after being rescued from the wild.

Doctors expressed shock saying he was found living with a pack of wolves in a remote forest in the Kaluga region of central Russia.

Werewolf boy

“He’s clearly dangerous to other people,” said a police spokesman yesterday.

“He’s got typical wolf-like habits and behaviour.

“He has very strong and sharp teeth, which could really endanger someone if he bites.”

The boy looks about ten – but after tests conducted by Moscow medics, they believe he maybe much older.

For the rest of the article and pictures click here.

Canadian Postal Workers Seek Rogue Bad Santa

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Canada’s post office and police are trying to track down a “rogue elf” who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday.

The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.

“We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,” a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper.

Canada Post’s popular “Write to Santa” program — which last year delivered more than a million letters to children in Canada and around the world — has been shut down in Ottawa until the offender is caught.

Check out the original article here.

Here’s my artist’s rendition of what the Bad Santa might actually look like.

Satan Claus

 

Rape Victim Sentenced To 6 Months Prison and 200 Lashes

Ya, that’s not a typo up there, the female VICTIM was sentenced to 6 months in prison and she received 200 lashes.

She gets gang-raped by 7 guys, 14 times, and she ends up in prison for it.

Check out the article here.

Apparently they have a law that prevents women from associating with unrelated men. Must be pretty hard to get laid over there. How are you supposed to get your dick wet if you aren’t allowed to talk to women that aren’t related to you? Must be a whole lot of incest going on. (which would explain a lot of their problems over there)

What a bunch of assbackward savages. They need to bomb that whole area until there’s nothing left but cockroaches.

Here’s another picture I found funny. A muslim woman enjoying a lovely swim at the beach. She should be ashamed for wearing such a skimpy bathing suit.

Muslim Woman Swimming In Skimpy Outfit

Name a TeddyBear Mohammed – Go To Jail

British teacher, Gillian Gibbons, has been sentenced to 15 days in a Sudanese jail for letting the children in her class pick a name for the class teddybear. The (muslim) students picked “Mohammed”. Apparently that did not sit well with some of their parents and it resulted in Miss Gibbons being arrested for insulting the name of Mohammed and the Islamic religion.

She could have faced 6 months in prison and public lashes, so the head of the school said that 15 days in jail and deportation was not a bad deal.

Now protests are going on in Sudan demanding that the teacher get the death penalty for naming the Teddy Bear. As stupid as these people are, you have to put some of the blame on the teacher for being careless enough to even associate with these scum. As the old saying goes, if you lie down with pigs, you are likely to wake up covered in shit. (or something like that)

Here’s a message for you fanatical muslims out there that think this woman should be killed:

MOHAMMED SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!

Mohammed Cartoon

See the original article here.

Fucked Up Judge Steals Neighbours Property

This story is so fucked up it made me mad reading it. It figures a dirty judge would be the one responsible for it. Fuck judges, fuck lawyers and most importantly, FUCK THE POLICE! Here’s the article:

Property right wrongly taken

The story is so absurd, so unfair, so ludicrous, I had a difficult time believing that it could actually happen – even in Boulder.

It’s about a couple named Don and Susie Kirlin. They moved to the city in 1980. A few years later, the Kirlins purchased a plot of land near their residence, hoping to someday build a “dream home.”

“We took advantage of the market in the early ’80s,” says Susie Kirlin, almost apologetic for making a smart investment.

Children interfered slightly with the master plan – three of them in the next few years – postponing any development of the property.

As the children began to make their own way in life, the couple decided it was time to finally develop the property in late 2006.

By then, it was too late.

Despite owning the land, despite living only 200 yards from the property, despite hiking past it every week with their three dogs, despite spraying for weeds and fixing fences, despite paying homeowner association dues and property taxes each year, someone else had taken a shine to it. Someone powerful.

Former Boulder District Judge, Boulder Mayor, RTD board member – among other elected positions – Richard McLean and his wife, attorney Edith Stevens, used an arcane common law called “adverse possession” to claim the land for their own.

All McLean needed was to develop an

“attachment” to it.

Undoubtedly, his city connections couldn’t have hurt, either.

In the court papers, McLean and his family admit to regularly trespassing on the Kirlins’ property.

They created paths. They said they put on a political fundraiser and parties on it (though not a single photograph of these events surfaced in court documents).

This habit of trespassing developed into an affection.

If we take McLean at his word, he should have been treated appropriately: like a common criminal. Instead, the former judge demanded a chunk of the land for himself – and implausibly he got it.

How did the Kirlins learn this travesty was afoot? Susie Kirlin was warned about it at a Boulder High School football game. Be cautious, her neighbor warned, someone has designs on your property.

“I laughed when I first heard it. I really didn’t know that anyone had an emotional attachment to our land,” Kirlin tells me. “I was quite surprised. I was even more surprised that someone could claim our land. But my neighbor told me this was a well- connected person and I should take it seriously.”

When the couple began building a fence on the land – which is within Boulder city limits, not out in the wilderness – McLean was able, according to the Kirlins, to obtain a restraining order in an exceptionally speedy 2 1/2 hours.

Boulder District Judge Morris Sandstead, who served with McLean, issued the restraining order quite swiftly.

Serendipity, I guess.

All of this adds up to District Judge James Klein ordering the Kirlins to sign over about 34 percent of their 4,750-square-foot lot to McLean and his wife last month.

“Now the lot is just about worthless,” explains Don Kirlin. “We estimate the land was worth about $800,000 to a million dollars. Now, we can’t build anything on it.”

Surely, that was the goal.

To add insult, the case, which the Kirlins are appealing, has cost the family over $100,000 in legal fees.

Property rights, one of the foundational ideas of this nation, mean less and less these days. Abusive eminent domain cases are popping up all over the county. This, a bit different, is probably one of the most absurd cases I’ve heard.

Boulder has a reputation of being a, um, quirky town. Some of this is indisputably deserved. Judging from the angry reaction up there, however, most citizens are outraged. And that is certainly heartening.

Attempts to reach McLean were unsuccessful. His lawyer declined comment. McLean’s legacy, we can only hope, is sullied for good.

But what lesson can we all learn from this episode? Easy. If you fancy some undeveloped property – and have no scruples – keep walking on it until you create a path.

Have a party.

Eventually, the land can be yours.

You can view the original article here.

Indian Girl Born With 8 Limbs

Hmmm, there’s gotta be some sort of career path this girl could take that would make her a fortune. Professional juggler, corn husker, maybe a one-person band?

BANGALORE, India —  Revered by some in her village as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess, a 2-year-old girl born with four arms and four legs was undergoing surgery Tuesday that will hopefully leave her with a normal body.

The girl named Lakshmi is joined at the pelvis to a “parasitic twin” that stopped developing in the mother’s womb. The surviving fetus absorbed the limbs, kidneys and other body parts of the undeveloped fetus.

It's a human octopus!

Read the rest of the story here.

Don Vito Convicted Of Sexual Assault

It just doesn’t get any better than that. This guy has always been one of the creepiest looking fuckers I’ve ever seen, and then he goes and makes himself even creepier by molesting a couple 13 year old girls. Imagine this big, sweaty, cross-eyed fucker coming at you with a boner. Those kids are going to be permanently scarred.

Don Vito - One Sexy Bitch!

Don Vito has been found guilty of two counts of sexual assault on a child. He was acquitted on one count.

Vito, real name Vincent Margera, who is Bam Margera’s outrageous uncle on MTV’s “Viva La Bam,” was accused of fondling three girls during a public appearance at a mall in a Denver suburb. The victims of the sexual assault were 12 and 13. After the verdict was read, Don collapsed to the floor and yelled, “Just kill me now!” Deputies restrained him — and took his ass off to jail.

Read the rest of the article here.

Good Samaritans Stop Rape In Progress

SALEM, Ore. — Five Good Samaritans stopped a rape in progress in a south Salem neighborhood, according to police. Officers said a 22-year-old woman on crutches was walking near the intersection of Liberty and Boone streets southeast just before 1 a.m. Saturday when she was attacked and assaulted by 37-year-old Paul Landingham. According to authorities, a car with five people was driving by, saw what was happening and came to the woman’s rescue.Three men pulled Landingham off the woman and held him until police arrived at the scene.

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HAHA!!!! Look at what they did to that slimeball’s face! Looks like the “good samaritans” did quite a number on Chester the Molester.

Rapist

That’s what you get for trying to rape a girl on crutches. Thankfully it sounds like the police weren’t too concerned with how bad they beat up on this rapist. Too bad they never killed him.

Man charged for having sex with bike

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

 
Mountain bike; Man who had sex with bike in court
An object of lust?

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

“They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

“The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”