This one goes under the “creepy” file.

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - A Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing — even in death.

A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.

Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son’s last wish.

Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating.

I’m not a particularily patriotic person, but I do love my Budweiser, (crazy announcer voice: “TO THE EXTREME!!!!”) and the thought of the company being sold to a bunch of Belgians kinda bothers me. I’m not sure why, Belgians are pretty good people and they make some good beer themselves. But Bud is basically synonymous with the United States. At least they aren’t selling it to the Russians or Chinese.

But in case you too are bothered by this sale taking place, check out:

SaveBudweiser

to do your part to try to stop it.

This guy is my hero. The symbol for white trash all over the world.

A 33-year-old Michigan man is accused of wearing a “World’s Greatest Dad” shirt to a meeting for sex with what he thought was a 14-year-old girl. Daniel Allen Everett of Clarkston was arraigned Tuesday in Novi on charges of child sexual abuse and using the Internet to attempt child sexual abuse. A jail official says it isn’t known whether Everett has a lawyer. A spokesman for Attorney General Mike Cox could not confirm whether Everett has children. But Cox says in a statement that the arrest is a reminder that “a parent can pose a threat to our children.”

I know apartments are smaller in Japan, but this is a bit ridiculous. Apparently some crazy homeless lady had moved herself into a man’s closet without his knowledge. She would stay hidden inside while he was home, and when he left for work she would come out and use the washroom and raid his fridge.

The news story said she was clean, but I bet there was the odd time she had to lay a dump in the closet while the guy was home.

TOKYO - A homeless woman who sneaked into a man’s house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing. 

Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man’s closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.

The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.

Check out the full story here.

In this day and age it is hard to believe there still might be some people out there living totally outside of society, with no contact with modern civilization at all.

Apparently they just discovered one such tribe in the Amazon. They flew over top of them in a helicopter and the tribesman actually got out their bows and arrows and started firing at them. They probably thought some kind of strange mechanical bird was about to rain hellfire down on them. Sounds like something out of an Indiana Jones movie.

It might be sick for me to think like this, but I would love to come storming through the woods in a Humvee with a machine gun turret mounted on the back, throwing fire bombs and shooting up the place. I would kidnap their women and burn down their entire village. I’d be firing my Mossberg at them and I would have Slayer’s “Angel of Death” playing over a loudspeaker system.

I’d also make sure I had some sort of kick ass demon mask on so they would think that hell on earth had erupted, and that whatever God they worshipped had come to earth to seek a terrible vengeance on them.

That would be fucking bad ass. That’s it, I’m booking a flight to the Amazon.

Check out the full story here.

Africa sounds like a great place to live. It’s no wonder they are killing themselves off with AIDS over there. They sound like a bunch of mental midgets. What the hell are you going to do with a severed penis? Put it in a stew? Eat it on a hot dog bun? Sick fucks.

Here’s a representation of what the severed penises might look like.

KINSHASA, April 22 - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Check out the full story here.

So you’ve probably heard by now that the DC Madam has “hung” herself. She was the one who ran the escort service that resulted in the downfall of New York Governor, Elliot Spitzer.

Of course this news doesn’t come as a big surprise to most people. The thought of going to prison can scare the crap out of you. There’s the usual conspiracy nuts that are saying she might have been murdered to keep her quiet, but at the end of the day people aren’t going to give that theory much credence. I know I wasn’t, until I listened to this interview.

She was obviously going to give out her client list. So what do you think? Did they off her? Or did she just suddenly change her mind and decide to hang herself in a garden shed?

This guy is a genius.  He’s been having problems with bums and homeless people outside his bar vandalizing the place. Initially he started patrolling the area with an assault rifle. Of course the police didn’t like that, so he decided to create his own police officer that would do his bidding. The HoboCop.

Visitors to O’Terrill’s pub in Atlanta, Georgia are likely to be greeted by a worrying sight - a 300-pound, waist-high robot marked ‘SECURITY’ rolling through the streets after dark, hunting down loiterers.

Bar owner Rufus Terrill’s invention, the Bum Bot – which has been patrolling the area around the pub since last September – features bright red lights, an even brighter spotlight, an infrared video camera and a water cannon in a spinning turret on top.

Terrill can bark orders through the robot’s loudspeaker from the safety of his bar, allowing the robot to chase homeless people away from the Irish theme pub.

The electronic vigilante has enraged neighbourhood activists, who have threatened protests. Street people say it’s intimidating. And homeless advocates question the intentions of its inventor, who uses the Bum Bot as a marketing tool and a political prop.

“I’d buy that for a dollar!”

Check out the rest of the story here.

These guys sound like a barrel of laughs! Sure to liven up any party! “Hey everybody, let’s play the drunky-blindy-stabby game! It’s always fun! Everyone get your knives out!”

A Russian electrician who spent a night with a ten-inch kitchen knife in his back only realised when he got home and his wife saw it.

A drinking pal of Yuri Laylin, 53, plunged the knife into his back after playing a variation on Russian roulette during a boozy night out in Vologda.

In the game, a blindfolded pal was given a knife and made random stabbing motions as his pals danced around him after drinking large amounts of vodka.

Yuri said he had no idea his pal had actually stabbed him and did not feel any pain when he went home.

He only realised what had happened when his wife saw him on the bed with the knife in his back and called an ambulance.

Check out the full story here.

Here is an artist’s rendition of what the Russian looked like.

VANCOUVER, Wash. - An altercation in a Vancouver park left an 11-year-old boy with a butter knife in his head.

Tyler Hemmert is a little sore but will be just fine even though the butter knife went four or five inches into his scalp.

Hemmert said he was playing at a park on Sunday when a boy with a butter knife got angry and threw it at him. A buddy ducked to avoid the flying butter knife, which then went straight at Hemmert, lodging in the right side of his head.

Instead of pulling the knife out, Hemmert ran through the park, asked a neighbor for help and took an ambulance ride to the hospital.

“I just reached up, I didn’t know it went in,” he said. “I touched it and then I looked over and I could see the handle right there. I just kind of panicked at the time.”

Check out the full story here.