North American scientists have discovered the longest bird penis ever – a 42.5cm organ belonging to a duck.

Dr Kevin McCracken of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, and colleagues, report in this week’s Nature that they have found a specimen of the Argentine lake duck (Oxyura vittata) that has a penis as long as its body – nearly half a metre long.

How the hell does it walk without tripping over that thing?

Check out the original article here.

Apparently some old asian broad found a snake in her house that appeared to be growing a foot. Either this is some sort of evolutionary miracle, or perhaps it is the offspring of this guy. The news media is not saying.

Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.

“I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw,” said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.

Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.

Check out the original article here.

I honestly had to go over this entire site for 10 minutes to try to determine if it was some sort of parody site or a joke. It turns out the site is completely real, and was developed by McDonald’s.

Check it out at 365Black.com

From their site:

“At McDonald’s^®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That’s the idea behind 365Black.com. It’s a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald’s.”

It’s like the designers of the site are purposely trying to make the site offensive to black people. Case in point, this is the image you first see when you visit the site:

McDonald’s gave me a chance to share my love of Chicken McNuggets!? Seriously? All they are missing is a joke about watermelon and grape drink.

Are you currently suffering from bulimia-nervosa? Do you stick your fingers down your throat after every meal? If so, learn how to be a better bulimic with these helpful tips.

Check out the full list here.

Some highlights include:

• When purging, grasp your Adam’s apple in a choking fashion and lift it up. This should reduce the depth that you have to insert your fingers when purging.

• If you ever get caught, say you have a pain in your stomach and it’s bothering you intensely. Immediately after wards ask whoever caught you to lend/give you some pain killers to impress the idea that you are telling the truth.

• Purchase some mouthwash to rinse away the acid.

• It only takes about ten minutes for food to digest so don’t wait too long.

• You can wear gum shields or fake vampire fangs to protect your teeth from acid erosion.

For some reason I don’t think you’ll see these tips on any public service announcements any time soon.

Enjoy your vomiting!

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a cannibal, now you can find out without the repercussions one would normally associate with eating human flesh ( i.e. life in prison for murder.)

This is Kittiwat Unarrom’s body bakery. It appears to be the basement of a serial killer with rotting body parts laying around on shelves, but they are actually bread scultpures created by the artist.

Kittiwat started painting portraits and then moved onto mixed media and then to dough.

Together with edible human heads, he also makes arms, feet and chicken and pig parts. He uses anatomy books as a reference.

Looks friggin’ tasty. I wonder if he does requests…I’d love to send him a photo of my ex-girlfriend so I could eat her head.

If you’re tired of dealing with the local thugs in the bad part of town, now you can get your groove on the safe way, by ordering your illegal narcotics online.

Order yourself some crack here.

Thanks to a legal loophole in the Maastrict Treaty establishing free trade within the European Community, we are able to sell direct, to you the Public, from Malta, where cocaine is a recognised pharmecutical. As long as it is all for your own consumption (i.e. not for resale), there is nothing Customs and Excise nor the Police can do.

In case you are a bit dense, please don’t enter your credit card info on that site.

A long time ago after I ended up with a dose of crabs from cavorting with a Mexican street urchin, I always thought there had to be a better way to protect yourself than just shaving your pubic region bald. I realize it makes your wang look bigger when you do that, but for some reason it just seems wrong.

Then one day I discovered the Merkin, AKA, the pubic wig.

Now I can have the protection that shaved genitals offer me, while enjoying the manly look of a full mane of pubic hair.

Even the merkins have undergone a change recently, from being just plain ballsack wigs, to having fancy designer styling in a variety of colours, for both men and women.

To pick up your own pubic hairdos, check out MerkinWorld.com

Whatever you do, please don’t use them for facial hair.

Now this is some creepy ass shit. Apparently some “natives” in Borneo captured a full-sized Orangutan, shaved it bald, then held it captive as a sex slave in a brothel.

Her name is Pony, and here is what she looked like when she was found in her den of iniquity.

OK, I admit, I’ve fucked some nasty whores before, but I don’t think anything I’ve touched would compare to this shaved orangutan. How desperate do you have to be to stick your dick in that?

Check out this tidbit from the news story:

If a man walked near her, she would turn herself around, present herself, and start gyrating and going through the motions. She was being used as a sex slave. She was probably about six or seven years old when we rescued her, but she had been held captive by a madam for a long time. The madam refused to give up the animal because everyone loved Pony and she was a big part of their income. They also thought Pony was lucky, as she would pick winning lottery numbers. 

Check out the full story here.

Now you can enjoy the worst part of being famous, without any of the good stuff that goes along with it, like money, fast cars, women, etc.

That’s right, now you can pay $75 per photographer per hour, to have a crew of annoying paparazzi follow you around as though you are someone people are interested in seeing. Of course you aren’t interesting at all, or you wouldn’t have to pay for this service.

Check it out at PrivatePaparazzi.com

If I ever met someone that actually paid for this, I would probably beat them unconscious just on principle.

Feast your eyes on the TwoDaLoo….a toilet billed as being able to “Save Rocky Marriages and the Planet”.

Sorry, but how the hell does taking a shit beside your wife make your marriage better? My shits are disgustingly nasty and almost choke me out at times. I can just imagine subjecting someone else to them.

They also claim it is supposed to save the environment since you both flush at the same time, saving water. So let me get this straight, uses half the amount of water to flush down two nasty shits? I usually take 3 flushes just to get down one of my dumps.

The real kicker is you can also order it with an IPOD dock and a LCD tv. So taking a shit with your wife is now a social gathering? I’ll pass on this one.

IF you want to start sharing your shits with your wife, you can order one here for the low, low price of $1400.