Someone should tell these guys not to sit together on the bench.
Douchebag had to get his two cents in again.
Remember the show ALF? Annoying furry alien that ends up living with an average American family? Total shit.
But surprisingly, it turns out there was a whole bunch of ALF episodes that got shitcanned and were never aired on TV. The writers took a very dark turn and ended up changing the father into a psychotic sexual predator.
It’s too bad they never aired these, the show probably would have lasted a few more seasons if they followed through on this storyline. Enjoy.
Check out all the lost episodes here.
I wouldn’t feel right posting this without also mentioning the fact that back in 2001, Alex Wright, ALF’s father on the show, was filmed having sex and smoking crack with homeless black men. Awesome, just awesome.
By now you’ve all seen or heard the commercials for various colon cleansing products. They claim you just need to take their pills and it will clean out all the packed up shit you have lining your colon walls. The shit (no pun intended) sells like hot cakes, but apparently some people are not too happy with the results. Check out the hilarious complaints that have been submitted to this site:
Just a sample:
3/24/2009 – Wil writes:
This is by far the worst piece of dog manure that I have tried! It is worthless. The fellas who invented this product should have this worthless piece of garbage rammed right up their colons just to prove it’s ineffectiveness. I followed the directions to the letter. The direction state: (Paraphrasing) Take 1 Total Colon Cleanse pill in the morning and 1 pill in the evening with food. If you have not had two daily bowel movements within the first two days, then take 2 pills in the morning and two in the evening. If you STILL have not made two bowel movements, take three pills in the morning and then three pills in the evening. The first two days, I took 1 colon pill in the morning and 1 at night. I only went to the bathroom once. (According to them, you should go at least twice a day.) After two days of taking 1 pill, I took two pills, twice a day. Still,I only made 1 trip to the toilet. The next day, per the instructions, I increased the amount to three pills in the morning and three pills in the evening. This time, my colon only gave me little pellets. Am I angry? Oh yes! I am pissed to the highest level of pissivity! If this rant will prevent just one person from buying this product then I did my job. It is garbage! I later (after the fact) asked the pharmacist at my local  if this product really worked. The way she laughed, you would have thought that I told her a joke. However,I bet the creators of this product and there stock holders are somewhere in Switzerland or the Bahamas laughing their tail feathers off from all of the knuckleheads (including me) who bought their product. Please DON’T BUY THIS STUFF! IT IS TOTALY USELESS!
3/10/2009 – PKL writes:
First day: 2 pills total, nothing. Second day: 4 pills, next day small b.m. Third day: 4 pills, extreme cramps and diarrhea. Reduced to 2 pills b/c of diarrhea, no b.m. for 2 days. Bottom line is it’s either cramping and diarrhea or no bowel movement at all. I went 3 days w/o one. This stuff is awful. Every doctor says that it’s rubbish about having to clean out your system b/c with each normal b.m., that’s what your body is doing. I cancelled but I’m curious to see if I get another shipment. I, too, did not hit submit button but rec’d. product anyway. What a scam!!
There’s literally hundreds of complaints on the site!
This guy is my hero. He goes around to public washrooms and takes pictures of himself urinating all over the toilet paper rolls.
Check out more of his pictures at thedeadbaby.blogspot.com.
Well, I guess this would be funny up until I had to take a runny, diarrhea shit and discovered the toilet paper was soaked with urine. This is just one of the many reasons I do my best to avoid taking dumps in public washrooms.
Here is a site where today’s hottest celebrities are transformed through the miracle of Photoshop to look like apes. Some of them are still quite fuckable, while others will probably give you nightmares.
Check it out at CelebrityApes.com
Here’s a pretty funny audio recording of Christian Bale going ballistic on the set of Terminator: Salvation. Guy sounds like he needs a good beating.
…you’ll shit bricks.
(click for bigger pic)
Thought I better make a post about the inauguration since that is ALL THAT’S ON THE FUCKING TV ALL GOD DAMN DAY.