North American scientists have discovered the longest bird penis ever – a 42.5cm organ belonging to a duck.

Dr Kevin McCracken of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, and colleagues, report in this week’s Nature that they have found a specimen of the Argentine lake duck (Oxyura vittata) that has a penis as long as its body – nearly half a metre long.

How the hell does it walk without tripping over that thing?

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Isn’t it great how when people die the media only seems to remember the good things they did? (cough) Michael Jackson (cough). Well I think people should remember the bad things too. This brings me to the recent death of Ted Kennedy.

July 20, 1969 the “Rosemobile” being pulled from the channel (Poucha Pond).

As young and beautiful Mary Jo Kopechne suffocated inside the Delmont 88… Ted, the conscience of the Senate, swam to his own safety.

Ted fled to his posh hotel room, then to sleep, perchance to dream, never bothering to call the local constabulary.

A science teacher and 15 year old boy fishing from the “Dike Bridge” found the car in the morning.

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Here’s a stupid pic that I thought summed up the religion vs. science debate pretty well.

Click for the bigger (readable) version.

This is pretty cool. It’s about time people started doing shit like this. We have the technology, so why the fuck not? Just to keep religious freaks happy? Fuck them. They are the reason for 99% of all the problems in the world to begin with.

If this ever comes down in price I think I’ll get a clone made of the original Lassie. That way, when I get drunk and fall down, my dog can come and rescue me.

“What’s that Lassie? Evil Dick is drunk again? He shit and pissed himself? Where is he Lassie? Go get him!”

SEOUL (AFP) – A South Korean firm has received an order for the world’s first commercial cloning of a pet dog — a request from a US woman to re-create her beloved former pitbull, a report said Friday.

RNL Bio is charging 150,000 dollars to clone a pitbull terrier for the California woman using tissue from her dead pet named Booger, the Korea Times said.

It said the actual cloning will be conducted by Seoul National University while RNL Bio looks after the business side. Its CEO expects up to 500 orders within a few years from rich pet lovers in the United States and elsewhere.

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This would have been great news if I was born about 20 years later. Unfortunately I will be dead by the time this shit happens so I’ll probably never be able to stick my willy in a robot woman.

Humans could marry robots within the century. And consummate those vows.

“My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,” artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, “but once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,” Levy said.

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Scientists have discovered a warm and rocky “second Earth” circling a star, a find they believe dramatically boosts the prospects that we are not alone.

The planet is the most Earth-like ever spotted and is thought to have perfect conditions for water, an essential ingredient for life. Researchers detected the planet orbiting one of Earth’s nearest stars, a cool red dwarf called Gliese 581, 20 light years away in the constellation of Libra.

Measurements of the planet’s celestial path suggest it is 1½ times the size of our home planet, and orbits close to its sun, with a year of just 13 days. The planet’s orbit brings it 14 times closer to its star than Earth is to the sun. But Gliese 581 burns at only 3,000C, half the temperature of our own sun, making conditions on the planet comfortable for life, with average ground temperatures estimated at 0 to 40C. Researchers claim the planet is likely to have an atmosphere. The discovery follows a three-year search for habitable planets by the European Southern Observatory at La Silla in Chile.

“We wouldn’t be surprised if there is life on this planet,” said Stephane Udry, an astronomer on the project at the Geneva Observatory in Switzerland.

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